January 21, 2014

Real Life

"June, please close the bathroom door.  I would like some privacy."
"What are you doing?  You going to have a big poop?"
"June, I would like some space please.  Will you please close the door?"
"Okay."  (10 seconds later)
"June.  The door?"
"What?"
"June please close the door.  (Silence).  Close the door June. (Door pushed open again).  June!  Close.the.door.now!"
"Mommy you didn't say please!"

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In the car:
"Mommy, you be Cinderella and I be [step]mother."
"Okay."
"Cinderella clean your room and feed the cat!"
"Yes, stepmother."
"Okay, now you be [step]mother and I be Cinderella!"
"I don't want to be the stepmother.  She is mean.  I want to be a mouse or the Fairy Godmother."
"No Mommy!  You be [step]mother!!!"
"All right...Cinderella make my dinner and don't eat it yourself."
(Silence from backseat)
"June?"
(Genuine sobs break out)
"Mommy Jane you hurt my feelings!  You're not sharing your dinner with me!"


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